When I look at my life, I know how MIRACULOUS it is for me to be able to share with you how God has kept me. There are so many places in my life where I can testify of God’s goodness.
My childhood was tainted by sexual and emotional abuse. From there I found myself becoming a single mother caught up in physically abusive relationships. And the story goes on. Needless to say, I’ve faced a number of challenges to my mind, body, and soul.
I remember being in a relationship with a particular male for a short time. I was in my early twenties, a single mom with a high school education. We met through a mutual friend, and really hit it off right away. And although we were only together for a little less than six months, it felt like a lifetime.
In the beginning, he checked off on all the right emotional points. He seemed to care about me and my son. He said all the right stuff, and he did all the right things. Kind of.
Within just a few months he moved in with me. I thought we had a good thing going on, but I started to see him change his attitude, ways, and words toward me. And as the changes started to show, I began to see the kind of man he really was, beyond the mask. And he wasn’t good.
Growing up in the wake of being sexually abused, I had a distorted view of being safe. I believed that I needed a man that knew how to handle tough situations. I actually used to feel that a man that was hard, a “gangsta” from the hood, or a big-time hustler would be my protector. That is a straight up lie, but I didn’t realize that at the time.
Why did I believe such a thing?
After experiencing various types of abuse from a friend of the family and a family member, my younger years went on as though nothing had happened to me. I didn’t receive any type of therapy or counseling inside or outside the church. The subject of abuse was never brought up or talked about in any form. In fact, being sexually molested wasn’t even discussed. It was a hidden thing, leaving me with the feeling that I had done something wrong. I was bruised. I was scarred on the inside. I was broken.
But I had to keep it a secret, so that no one in the family would be “shamed.”
My parents didn’t seek any kind of professional help, although one of the incidents did lead to an arrest and conviction. Yet and still, we did not take our business to the street. They only did what they knew to do, and that was pray and leave it there.
But I needed more than prayer. I needed some internal healing. And I needed to know how to deal with my many thoughts and fears. I did not know what a healthy relationship was, let alone how to have one. I wanted a man, but I was afraid of men. I saw good men all around me, but because I was warped by the abuse, I did not know how to get a good man for myself.
I had never dealt with my deep internal issues, which of course ended with me picking the wrong kinds of men.
This rough man that I was dating preyed upon the weaknesses of my soul.
He did not treat me well. He would taunt, harass, and belittle me. There were many times he could have killed or murdered me because of his uncontrolled anger. I vividly remember him choking me to the point that I almost lost consciousness.
There were many things that this man did to me in that short season that caused me to feel hopeless. My lack of self-worth was exploited. I gave up control of myself, and let him take over.
I felt like a victim that sooner or later would be killed.
In my book, Be Still, I wrote about the most horrific, scariest event that I endured with him. I shared about him pulling a gun on me and telling me to say goodbye to my son.
Prayer does work. Because prayer is what got me out of this situation. The prayers of my mother, grandmother, my family never came back void. I’m a living witness, alive today because God had a greater vision for my life. I walk with purpose, and on purpose empower others that have been broken sexually, emotionally, and physically.
In Genesis 50:20 (NLT) it says, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people.”
See what the devil meant for harm, God changed for His good and mine. He healed me deep on the inside. Yes, I should have died, but the hidden work of destiny was in process. He just needed to rescue me.
I am a miracle. Looking back over my life, I’m amazed at how far God has brought me. I should have been dead lying in a grave. But here I am. Kept by the power of God.
God has given me a much greater purpose then I could have ever imagined. Today, I work with girls and women that have been human trafficked. They arrive exploited, physically, and emotionally abused, and I have the honor of helping them overcome their past.
Today, I have raised my six beautiful children with my husband of 15 years. I hold a B.S. in Human Service, I’m an author of two books, I’m a minister of the gospel, working as a program manager for Love Never Fails. I’m the founder of Women Rising Above Abuse, where I empower women to exercise their power to overcome. I’m now a certified life and business coach, the owner of Amari Rise Publishing & Coaching Services, and an Appointed Human Rights Commissioner for the County of Santa Clara.
I’m so glad I’m alive and thriving, walking in the path God placed me on. As you can see, my calling was far greater than what I could have ever imagined. I started to know my worth and said YES to Christ. This is a testament of God’s goodness, kindness, and mercy towards me. Yes. I am a miracle. And so are you. Beloved, I wish above all things that you are Blessed and Favored by God…. I Love you with the Love of Christ and there is nothing you can do about that… ❤ ☺
Author • Speaker • Life & Business Coach
Marilyn Randolph is an Author, Speaker, Life & Business Coach, and Business Owner. Founder of Amari Rise Publishing & Coaching Services, and Women Rising Above Abuse (WRAA), Marilyn has been featured in Business on the Edge Magazine, and KFAX Radio.
A sought-after motivational speaker and minister, Marilyn serves as a Human Rights Commissioner in Silicon Valley and sits as a social justice committee member. She is also the co-host of The Overflow Podcast Show where she uses her platform to go beyond discussing important issues and highlight guests that work to bring righteous change in the communities.
Marilyn has written two books, Be Still and Brighter Beginnings Family Child Care Guide, which are available on Amazon; and she has an online Coaching Program, Surviving To Thriving Empowered & Free to Live Her Best Life!